The Force has left this one in leave of their senses

I know I promised to go over my Thanksgiving exploits today, but that will have to wait for Friday as the photographs are still on the beasty's camera.  Let's move on.

Guess who was given access codes to The Old Republic beta?  No, not me.  While my darling little netbook does so many useful things, it does not handle complex games.  Beasty's computer, however, does quite well, and so he alternated between Jedi Knight and Trooper for most of this past weekend.  I was perched nearby, curiously watching his progress, and decided to pop on to the Star Wars wiki page, Wookieepedia.  I think it started with me asking if there was something about being a Sith that made you get ugly and go bald, and the beasty told me to go look up his favorite Sith, Darth Talon.  After giving him the "God, you're so male" glare, I decided to actually read the article about the busty, tattooed Twi'lek which of course led me to clicking on several links as I'm not very familiar with the Star Wars 'verse outside of the original three films.

I proceeded to spend the next few hours reading article after article about the absurdly complex universe the Star Wars fandom has built.  I would also like to say in my defense that I had a nasty cold and wasn't up to doing anything more strenuous than reading anyway.  One article would inexorably lead to another, and I learned more about the Sith and Jedi in one evening than I have in sixteen years of being besties with a hardcore Star Wars fan girl.   Said wiki-walk has left me very disappointed with the Sith.  But let me tell you why!

First, for those of you who have no idea what "Sith" means, go here.  I'll wait.  The rest of the class will have a spot of tea whilst you educate yourself.

All set now?  Good, let's plunge ahead.

Let's start with the Code of the Sith.  I have no problem with the code, and in fact I honestly prefer it over the Jedi code, given my nature.  It is as follows:

Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken.
The Force shall free me.

While the potential for power-hungry ego-mania is certainly inherent, overall it's not that bad.  Yet, after an evening of reading, I have yet to see a single Sith actually live according to their own code.  Seriously, the Wiki even describes "most Sith" as being "cold and dispassionate".  Furthermore, they don't seem particularly "free".  Most Sith are unswervingly loyal pawns to their Masters, except for the few who rise up and kill their Masters usually (it seems) on the orders of another Master.  Moreover, it seems the greatest thing any Sith can devote his or her unnatural, dark life to is the destruction of Jedi.  That's it.  You have all the power of a dark god and you're going to waste it hunting down these guys over here because of their vastly different philosophy.  Apparently all Sith are cold, psychopathic zealots who worship their dead leaders and have nothing better to do than wage holy wars.

I guess, in the end, I was hoping for something more interesting.  Now, I understand that the Star Wars universe needs a BBEG (or fifty), and that Sith make good BBEGs, but here's the thing.  There are passionate people with limitless resources who don't decide the only thing to do with their energy is go kill a rival sect or take over countries.  And I imagine that there's something about the Dark Side of the Force that makes all Sith into horrible, evil people who have no ambitions outside of accruing more power to kill more Jedi.  You're welcome to try to explain it to me, my minions.

In the meantime, I'm going to throttle down my urge to start writing fan fiction.

Super Ethical Thanksgiving Climax!

You'll have to pardon the title, the beasty picked up Saints Row III (pre-ordered it, in fact) and has been playing it every day these last two weeks, so it may have had more than a little bit of an influence when I was constructing this post.  However, I feel it represents the atmosphere of what I'm about to share with you - strange, but with excitement.

So (much) later today, my home will be taken over by dear friends and a special out-of-town guest for what we have labeled in the past "Friend Thanksgiving".  Now, in truth, this is my only Thanksgiving.  Last night we had meatloaf with gravy, mashed potatoes, stuffing, broccoli, and pie. You must understand, my minions, that we really don't have any family out here, and to us the point of Thanksgiving is not just to eat lots of food, but to eat lots of food surrounded by people you love.  I come from a fair sized family, and until we moved out to the Pacific Northwest, was within a short drive of much of my mother's side of the family for all of my previous adult life.  Thanksgiving has always been a social event for me - that's what made it matter.

So, lacking local family, but understanding that our friends still have familial obligations on the day of, we decided to save our effort and host an event on Friday.  Now, all of that out of the way, let us get to the important part of this post.  The menu.

At last year's Thanksgiving I had decided to try something different and put together a meal based around dishes inspired by ingredients native to the Pacific Northwest (and it went over quite well, I am happy to say).  This year, when considering what to make, and keeping in mind that everyone would be having the standard fair the day before, I had a flash of inspiration.  So this year, using traditional ingredients, I've constructed an Asian Fusion menu.  Which I will now share with you.

• Mandarin Spinach Salad 
• Cucumber Nori Salad
• Green bean & Shitake Stir Fry - my answer to the traditional green bean casserole
• Sweet Potatoes with Wasabi Teriyaki Glaze - made with wasabi mustard instead of paste in order to get a good flavor with less severe of a kick
• Oyster Yaki - inspired by takoyaki, this is my interpretation of a traditional oyster stuffing
• Sesame Slow Roasted Carrots
• Cantonese Style Roast Turkey - this is an adaptation of Cantonese Crispy Duck, only for turkeys
• Cranberry Pineapple Ginger Compote - some might argue I should have used orange, but I despise cranberry-orange anything
• Pumpkin Pie Ice Cream Mochi - the beasty actually suggested these when I realized I had initially forgotten dessert in my menu planning, and then offered to make them because he rocks
• Green Tea Cupcakes - a layer cake would have been more impressive, but after everything else I decided cupcakes would be less stressful

I leave you with this teaser picture of the cupcakes, which I baked early and will frost today.  On Monday I'll post pictures and give full reports of how everything came out and tasted, etc and so forth.

"Prince of Darkness" used to mean something

Anyone who knows me will probably be able to tell you that I have, for as long as I can remember, been a fan of most things vampiric.  Hence why this catastrophic phenomenon of sparkling vampires is so crushing to me.  However, we're not here to speak of the mournful assassination of both the novel and the vampire at once by a certain Mormon author.  Today we're here to talk about something that I only recently became aware of.  The vampire bite necklace.

Now, for clarification, I don't mean this:

Clever, perhaps even elegant, with effort involved in its design.

I mean this:

I've got extra materials and five minutes, let's slap together something I can sell to Twilight fans.

There is something about these necklaces that drive me crazy.  In their very limited defense, they're subtle.  I'm generally a fan of subtlty.  That said, they're about the laziest creation on the planet.  Seriously.  Let's take a chain, stick two spaced out red gems on it, and call it a tribute to vampirism.  They can be found all over Etsy.  Observe:

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
Exhibit D
Exhibit E

You get the idea.  I have ten more in different windows of my browser right now, and they all look the same save for small, largely insignificant differences.  And they all make me twitch a little inside.  Popular culture needs to stop trying to rob me of everything I once found dark and beautiful.

They're less...abrasive than you might expect

So, we're still knee deep in NaNoWriMO (don't ask me how I'm doing, I don't want to talk about it) but I didn't want to put up another sad excuse for a blog entry.  So I decided to just write about something easy instead.  Today I am sharing with you what has quickly become my favorite web comic.

Manly Guys Doing Manly Things is written by Kelly Turnbull, whom the internet knows as Coelasquid.  The comic only updates once a week, which makes me a little sad, but I respect that Kelly is a full-time professional animator and that this is just her fun little side project.  The comic follows the adventures of a temp agency deisgned to help integrate ridiculously macho guys back into society.  The head of the agency is one Commander Badass (yes, that is the only name you get for him).  It parodies comics and video games, so expect to see Kratos, Sten, Duke Nukem, Leonidas, and many others.

In Kelly's own words: "Sometime this is a comic about macho action heroes. Sometimes this is a slice of life comic about a time traveling Navy SEAL single dad from the nonspecific spacefuture. Really, it just depends on how things were going that day."

Also, if you go into the "Extras" section, she has a handful of other silly comics.  My favorite of these is posted below.  I'm not posting anything from Manly Guys because I want you all to actually go read it.  Go, my minions!

Image by Kelly Turnbull.  If you don't recognize the characters, go play more video games.

While there's tea, there's hope

I have, at one or two points in my life, been accused of anglophilia (a particular love for and obsession with British culture).  Now, I don't necessarily think this is accurate.  I mean, do I find Bill Bailey and Eddie Izzard to be completely hilarious?  Yes.  Do I adore Stephen Fry?  Yes.  However, this does not instill in me a great love of all British comedians or actors simply because they are British.  I love these men because they're brilliant.  There's a difference.

And granted, I do have a bit of a thing for British colloquialisms and phrasing because I prefer the sound of it over many American colloquialisms.  However, I don't make a point of studying it, and it doesn't make its way into my every day speech that often, save for a few words and phrases (bloody, brilliant, and spot on mostly).

All this said, there is one area in my life where I may have to bite my tongue and accept my anglophile title.  And that is tea.  Oh, how I love tea.  In high school that was all I had for breakfast for three years - mornings began with either Earl Grey or Yorkshire Gold, and nothing further would be ingested until lunchtime.  There is a cup of Earl Grey sitting next to me as I write this.  More than just the drink by itself, however, I adore the tradition of the afternoon tea.

From Taking Tea With Alice by Dawn Hylton & Diane Sedo

There was a tea room a block from my high school, and one of my dearest friends and I would be there a minimum of once a week and sit for two hours with a pot of tea and a plate of biscuits.  Occasionally, when we had scraped up the money to do so, we would have full tea with scones, jam, clotted cream, Digestives and Jammy Dodgers, cucumber and tomato sandwiches, and it was a proper, dignified moment of ecstasy that I still remember with utter fondness.  So many days were spent in that tea room, dreaming of what would be and planning and scheming for the future over cups of the most lovely house blend.

I will still host teas when I have a receptive audience.  My tea cup collection is impressive, as is my collection of pots, and I try to make it a habit of always having at least two varieties of biscuits on hand.  I have two very large drawers in my kitchen that are devoted entirely to teas and drinking chocolate.  My recipe book is full of different tea sandwich recipes, and I know the best places to pick up loose leaf or bagged varieties not only in my own neighborhood but in many neighborhoods in Seattle.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for another cup.  Do not worry, there will be more on this subject later.

I can write lamer excuses...

Well, my minions, we're deep into NaNoWriMo now and I'm about ready to fall on my face and pass out after a very long day, but don't you think I've forgotten about you!

Well, that's actually not entirely true, but let me explain!  It's not that I forgot I had a blog entry coming up, it was more a matter of time.  Time is always the problem you see.  In this particular instance, I ran out of time to finishing editing pictures for blogging goodness.

So for today you get a random but appropriate picture from my hard drive.  Aren't you lucky.  Entries of merit will pick up again on Monday.

Quickly, use the umbrella to hide our shame!

Delicious fluff and nonsense

Can anyone remember the first time they had hot cocoa with marshmallows?  I cannot.  I've tried, but all I can recall is it being a mainstay during the fall and winter.  Even when we lived in Florida and didn't really need a warm drink.  I remember it being something that equally delighted my younger brother and I.  I also remember arguments over marshmallows, but the details are a little fuzzy.

Now, my minions, this is vitally important - marshmallows are what make instant hot cocoa good.  The right marshmallows can almost propel it into excellence (though let's face it, it will never be on par with a good drinking chocolate).  I present to you Exhibit A:

Lean in close and smell the deliciousness.

Here we have an instant cocoa made with my new Keurig.  Alone, it would be unremarkable, but we have added the ever important marshmallow.  And not just any marshmallow - this marshmallow is a vanilla marshmallow made by Rubicon Bakery from all natural ingredients (you can find them at Metropolitan Market).  It's gigantic - I actually had to cut it in half to keep my cup from overflowing.  And it's soooo good.

If you have never had a bakery or confectionery marshmallow, then you have no idea what I'm talking about.  The difference is significant.  Granted, Rubicon Bakery isn't local and is produced elsewhere and distributed, but it's still a bakery.  It's not like the marshmallows you buy in the cooking aisle.  Those are good for making lazy fudge and not much else.  You certainly wouldn't just eat them, and while you could throw them in cocoa it wouldn't make it a remarkable experience.  Okay, I'm exaggerating about it being a remarkable experience, but it is certainly the difference between not bad and good.  Perhaps even great.  Or as great as instant anything can get.

So here is your minion assignment - find yourself a place that sells real marshmallows.  They can come in a fun range of varieties with various additions like flavors, chocolate, nuts, sanding sugar, the list goes on.  There's even a couple places online that make super tasty marshmallow wonders and will ship them to you right quick.    I've never tried them, but I hear Marshmallow Heaven and Madyson's Marshmallows are good.  Though, y'know, I can't actually recommend them.  So that is your assignment!  Now go!

Thoughts on Duke (and I don't mean John Wayne)

Another day, another rambling.

Those of you who are familiar with my beasty will be unfazed to hear that he purchased a copy of Duke Nukem Forever about a month back when it was on sale.  As such, he's already finished the game and has been trying out the multiplayer.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Duke Nukem franchise, I would like to offer the following image:

So take that in for a moment.  We have a man carved from a block of pure machismo, sitting on a throne that has "Hail to the King" written across the top in gold script (hard to read at this size, I know, the original image was quite large), with identical twins in slutty school girl uniforms clinging to him.  If this does not tell you everything you ever needed to know about Duke Nukem, you are charmingly naive and must tell me about the lovely secluded society you were raised in.

To say that there is objectification of women in Duke Nukem Forever is like pointing out that grass is green and the ocean has a few fish in it.  That is, for those of you who have issues with analogy, painfully obvious and a bit of an understatement.  The game reeks of it.  The male lead is a caricature of an all-American chauvinist pig.  Most of the time it's funny as hell, sometimes it crosses the line into retarded, and it offends a lot of people.

That said, I'm really tired of listening to women complain about the game.  My sisters - get over it.  No, really.  You knew exactly what you were signing up for when you picked up this title, and the fact that you're going on and on about how it's sexist and horrible leads me to hope that you never pass on your genes.  It's right up there with parents who buy rated M games for their children, then bring them back to the store angry because they're violent.  While I may not be a fan of the game, I have to admire that it has at no point tried to disguise what it is.  In fact, it has held it up like a blazing nuclear torch in the night.  Moreover, it is so comical, so absurd, so distant from reality.  

Ladies, I implore you, save your rage for a cause that needs it.  This may make me a horrible feminist, but I believe that there are times when we have to stand up and fight, and there are times when we have to laugh at an absurd farce of a fantasy when we see one.  Use your influence to encourage games with strong female characters with full-coverage armor.  Vote with your dollars, get on forums, and push for positive change.  I want you to do all of these things!  And, for the love of all that is holy, don't buy a game and then throw screaming tantrums because it was exactly as advertised.