Monday, November 21, 2011

"Prince of Darkness" used to mean something

Anyone who knows me will probably be able to tell you that I have, for as long as I can remember, been a fan of most things vampiric.  Hence why this catastrophic phenomenon of sparkling vampires is so crushing to me.  However, we're not here to speak of the mournful assassination of both the novel and the vampire at once by a certain Mormon author.  Today we're here to talk about something that I only recently became aware of.  The vampire bite necklace.

Now, for clarification, I don't mean this:
Clever, perhaps even elegant, with effort involved in its design.


I mean this:
I've got extra materials and five minutes, let's slap together something I can sell to Twilight fans.

There is something about these necklaces that drive me crazy.  In their very limited defense, they're subtle.  I'm generally a fan of subtlty.  That said, they're about the laziest creation on the planet.  Seriously.  Let's take a chain, stick two spaced out red gems on it, and call it a tribute to vampirism.  They can be found all over Etsy.  Observe:

Exhibit A
Exhibit B
Exhibit C
Exhibit D
Exhibit E

You get the idea.  I have ten more in different windows of my browser right now, and they all look the same save for small, largely insignificant differences.  And they all make me twitch a little inside.  Popular culture needs to stop trying to rob me of everything I once found dark and beautiful.