The following blog post is full of a lot of rage, and initially contained a fair bit of foul language but I went back and cleaned it up a little. Also, if you are Christian, and you are sensitive to criticism of your religion or things followers of your religion do, you may want to pop out for this one.
So I'm sitting here this morning, drinking my chai, a little cold and sleepy but mostly happy with the world. At which point the beasty sends me this. My initial reaction was, and I quote, "Are you f**king serious?". After a small amount of research, I discover that yes indeed, they are serious.
So here's the deal, my minions. There are a group of well-meaning fanatics trying to push forward an event called Jesusween. Basically since they have deep issues with innocent fun and they can't let anybody be happy if they're not, they want to change the name to Jesusween and make it a "Christian giving holiday". This was apparently inspired by some pastor who handed out pocket-sized abridged New Testament bibles to kids instead of candy some time in early 2000s and was lucky that he didn't get his house egged (not that I condone or have ever resorted to such actions, but I know plenty who have). They feel that the holiday should be spent rededicating your life to Christ. The following paragraph is my response to this effort.
No, and shame on you. Seriously. You already stole two major holidays from the pagans, you can back the hell away from Halloween. And yes, I know that Halloween is not celebrated in the same manner nor with the same spirit as Samhain once was (and still is, if you know where to go) but I don't care. Keep your sticky hands off my holiday. Do you not have anything better to do? Actually, I've got a great idea, if you want to focus more on rededicating your life to Christ why don't you do it during Easter or Christmas instead of spending all of your time and money shopping and hosting lavish dinners. Try that. Better yet, skip the tree this year (since you stole that from the pagans too) and all other ornamentation or frivolity and just sit in quiet contemplation about your own after-life. While you're at it, try accepting that not everyone in the world is Christian, and until you convert the rest of us you don't get to make all the rules. And finally, LEAVE MY HOLIDAYS ALONE!
I'm going to go hang my bat garland on the windows and try to forget this ever happened.